false commitment

[matthew r. sciaini]

All:

I was just thinking as I was taking a walk during my lunch time about my years in the assembly.  I can remember talking with one sister as all the stuff was beginning to come down, and her words to me at the time were,  "how are you looking at your commitment(that is, to the assembly, though ostensibly it was the Lord)?"  

As I think about it,  I never recall signing anything like a contract to be in the assembly, nor was anyone around me adamant that I stay there, but it was taken for granted that I (and I think I can say "we) would stay for life.  

It was very easy to be "committed to fellowship", which to me (and probably to most of us;  certainly this was blatantly announced a number of times by GG) meant that we should be at everything (meetings, outreaches, fellowships, etc.), and yet be very unclear about our commitment to the Lord in the middle of all that.  It came to the point where the assembly = the Lord.  For this reason I am not anywhere close to being as involved with my current house of worship as I was with the assembly.  Some would say that I'm lazy or not spiritual;
I just do not want to get lost in some organization and think that I'm serving God (though my attitude may be right) when it's simply group mind-meld.  

I just don't want to get commitment TO THE LORD mixed up with commitment TO A GROUP OF CHRISTIANS, though they will intersect at various points.  

Perhaps I'm a little late to the party, but I wonder if any others of you struggle with issues such as this.

Matt Sciaini

[editor]

All:

I was just thinking as I was taking a walk during my lunch time about my years in the assembly.  I can remember talking with one sister as all the stuff was beginning to come down, and her words to me at the time were,  "how are you looking at your commitment(that is, to the assembly, though ostensibly it was the Lord)?"  

As I think about it,  I never recall signing anything like a contract to be in the assembly, nor was anyone around me adamant that I stay there, but it was taken for granted that I (and I think I can say "we) would stay for life.  

It was very easy to be "committed to fellowship", which to me (and probably to most of us;  certainly this was blatantly announced a number of times by GG) meant that we should be at everything (meetings, outreaches, fellowships, etc.), and yet be very unclear about our commitment to the Lord in the middle of all that.  It came to the point where the assembly = the Lord.  For this reason I am not anywhere close to being as involved with my current house of worship as I was with the assembly.  Some would say that I'm lazy or not spiritual;
I just do not want to get lost in some organization and think that I'm serving God (though my attitude may be right) when it's simply group mind-meld.  

I just don't want to get commitment TO THE LORD mixed up with commitment TO A GROUP OF CHRISTIANS, though they will intersect at various points.  

Perhaps I'm a little late to the party, but I wonder if any others of you struggle with issues such as this.

Matt Sciaini

Hi Matt,

You're not too late, the party is still going on.  I know that MANY ex-assembly people struggle with this.  To a point where a pastor friend of mine had to tell a group of them to not volunteer to serve, but to let themselves be served.

It was very difficult for some of them, others were actually offended.

Sooner or later, people begin to think along the lines you mention.  Let me warn you that as you process all of this stuff, you may have to deal with a wide range of emotinal issues as a result.  It's normal, but find a solid Christian to talk to if it gets really hard.

Brent

[al Hartman]

I just don't want to get commitment TO THE LORD mixed up with commitment TO A GROUP OF CHRISTIANS, though they will intersect at various points.  

Perhaps I'm a little late to the party, but I wonder if any others of you struggle with issues such as this.

Matt Sciaini

Hi Matt,

You're not too late, the party is still going on.  I know that MANY ex-assembly people struggle with this.  To a point where a pastor friend of mine had to tell a group of them to not volunteer to serve, but to let themselves be served.

It was very difficult for some of them, others were actually offended.

Sooner or later, people begin to think along the lines you mention.  Let me warn you that as you process all of this stuff, you may have to deal with a wide range of emotinal issues as a result.  It's normal, but find a solid Christian to talk to if it gets really hard.

Brent

Matt,  

Yeah, definitely.  My personal experiences have been about as different from Brent's as night and day, but I can say AMEN to all his points above.

One HUGE help to me has been to discover that our Lord actually wants to hear from us even when we're feeling at our lowest, totally UNspiritual, discouraged, even angry at Him.  We may come to Him in a rage or a funk, but He will not turn us away.  His love, mercy and forgiveness toward us are so great that he will endure our spiritual immaturity for as long as it takes for us to mature, just for the sheer joy of making it happen for us.

Whatever it may be that you or I really need, He has it on hand...

Blessings,
al

[M2]

Hi Matt,

I agree with you on this.  Our only commitment is to be to the Lord. We had a very unhealthy dependency on the group.  Now, when people say to list the good things from our assembly, I have a very difficult time doing so, because even the good things were used for furthering that dependency.  Things like hospitality and fellowship and BibleStudy and outreach etc..

It took a concerted effort on my part to not volunteer for anything and everything that came up.  We have not become 'official' members of the Baptist church we attend; we are still listed as regular attendees.  I am hesitant to commit myself to the group in that way yet.

God bless you,
Marcia

[moonflower2]

Marcia,

I'm glad to hear that there are more "mere" attendees than just me.

It really helps to just focus on Jesus himself and let membership and all others take "second place".

Moon