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Author Topic: Taboos as an AK  (Read 54556 times)
Nate Dogg
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« on: February 05, 2003, 09:34:50 pm »

What are the major taboos in being an AK? In other words, what made the leaders reject/shun/exhort you the most. any stories?
                     Nate

My major one would be friendship between  men and women.
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OnlyJesus24
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« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2003, 04:32:25 am »

Going to dances, going out with friends to places, skipping meetings to do homework, and never listening to anything but the soft christian music that all the other AK's listened to.
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Joel Mathews
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« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2003, 04:36:51 am »

Lets make this a Mathews family chat room eh. I dont know if these things are necesarilly taboo with the exception of the dance thing. These are mainly just a result of protective parents who somtimes would walk the line of being over protective. Love ya mom and dad.
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lemonlime
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« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2003, 09:04:52 am »

missing meetings for ANY reason

not doing chapter summeries

having contradictional opinions

eating fast food (im serious!)

dressing in any sort of fashion besides preppish (anything other then a skirt, khakis or nice jeans, and any shirt with writing on it)

not wearing sunday garb, ie: a tie for guys or a skirt/dress for girls

sarcasm in any form

biting nails (i got chewed out for this once in california)

any form of independent thought tended to be shot down, especially if your a girl

friendship between men and women definately was one

going to dances meant you had fallen away  Roll Eyes

painting nails

having ears pierced

story:

Over the summer, on teen team, I was in a house with Hannah Dodorico and Amber Deijay (sorry for misspelling). Our counselor was Roxana Brown and it was her first year. We stayed with Liz and Matt Henderson. Anyway, Hannah and I played a practical joke the first week and moved everybody's shoes. Roxana and Amber didn't think it was funny so we promised not to do it again. Shortly later, a pair of Roxana's jeans went missing. She was convinced that Hannah and I did it. So she talked to Liz about it. Liz asked Hannah and I if it was us and we said no, it wasn't, so she said okay. We did a search of the room and found the jeans in a laundry bag. Roxana still thought it was us. The day after Hannah, Amber and I went into the Summer School building and Roxana was behind us. After the meeting, Hannah and I (not Amber) were approached by Cheryl Zach who said that Roxana was crying before the meeting outside by a tree. We had no idea about it. She continued to say that Roxana said we had walked by and ignored her. We never even left the meeting hall to go outside!! Then Cheryl asked us about the jeans and we explained it to her. She seemed to be tilted towards Roxana's side. She even brought up kicking us off of teen team and sending us home. But she then told us that we should make things right. So we said okay. We tried to talk to Roxana but all she did was nod the whole time. We assumed the whole thing had been cleared up. But then, the other counselors started to interrogate and exhort us (and this was ONLY Hannah and I, mainly Hannah though). Becca Dodorico was on the phone talking to her mom and her counselor, Becky, took over the phone and told her mom that Hannah was wreaking havoc in her house. Sheesh, a pair of jeans go missing and suddenly somebody across half the continent knows about it. Other counselors also approached Hannah, telling her she should be ashamed of herself. A couple people tried to talk to me, but I told them they should take it up with Roxana. Hannah and I were laughing about it towards the end of teen team but it really bothered us. She never admitted she was wrong. Maybe she still thinks we hid them. It's okay though, Hannah and I forgave her when it happened. Amber never got exhorted (lucky one!)
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jesusfreak
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« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2003, 09:40:38 am »

I agree with you Ems.  This is a good list of things that I too have been exhorted about, but many of them have significant reasoning behind.  

"missing meetings for ANY reason"
yeah, it is usually asked where you were, and it is often judged whether your reason was frivolous or not. Some people do it in care, some people joke with you about it, but I do think there is a slight tendency to be quite judgemental about this.

not doing chapter summeries
haha, i have had more than my share of talks about this one Smiley  But i can see where the reasoning might be found.  If you are going to sit through a 1 1/2 hour meeting, you should be prepared for it.  Now, i still think this is a taboo in that most of the time I honestly did not have to time to get one done, and it was unfair to get talked to about something you could not do Smiley

having contradictional opinions
i really dont know about this one, i will think about it.

eating fast food (im serious!)
i never got talked to about this.  Maybe just in the sense that a burger, fries, and a coke were unhealthy for you was it ever commented upon, but not usually. In fact, most of the singles in Chicago would run out to grab some lunch at portillos or McDonalds for lunch.

dressing in any sort of fashion besides preppish (anything other then a skirt, khakis or nice jeans, and any shirt with writing on it)
I am not exactly fashion concious, so i really did not notice this one.  Granted, it was frowned upon to look like a bum......

not wearing sunday garb, ie: a tie for guys or a skirt/dress for girls
Ahh! Big one here.

sarcasm in any form
Now, is not sarcasm rude and un-edifying?

biting nails (i got chewed out for this once in california)
Learn to be a lady Ems  Grin   j/k, i have never heard of this one before other than it is gross

any form of independent thought tended to be shot down, especially if your a girl
Another one that i need to think about.

friendship between men and women definately was one
Fo' sho'

going to dances meant you had fallen away  Roll Eyes
Actually, not going to dances is a HUGE taboo.  I am still trying to decide where i stand with this one.

painting nails
yeah........no opinion except for taste Smiley

having ears pierced
i have no stand on this as i am too much of a wimp to look into it anyway.  The whole you are created in Gods image so dont harm it seems rather silly as what do you do about people who are scarred in accidents? Missing limbs?  
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Railrider
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« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2003, 09:46:50 am »

I always hoped that I'd get kicked off of the teen team! lol. but that never happened.

In the assemblies one thing that was pretty obvious was all the double standards. Like one of the mothers would always chew out the mothers of everyone else's daughters for their skirts being above their knees when their own children wore the same thing! it was so weird.

Dances-Christians don't go to dances (WHAT?) Talk about reverse oppression!
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lemonlime
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« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2003, 10:35:04 am »

i KNOW! lol one time, someone elses mom exhorted me for not taking notes! and the message was about the theology of moses or somehting!


additions to my list:


not taking notes

talking during a song/message

chewing gum (you could get away with it most of the time, but GG had a problem with it in summer school for some reason)

being baptized and not praying in meetings

having short hair if you're a girl, having long-ish hair if you're a guy

listening to secular music

doodling

passing notes

falling asleep during a particularly boring message

saying that a message was boring

defending yourself (especially if theyre exhorting you for one of the above already)
« Last Edit: February 06, 2003, 10:36:18 am by Emily St » Logged
Railrider
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« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2003, 11:54:54 am »

oh yeah, doodling, my favorite  Grin
i have notebooks full of it..
Summer school, oh the horrors. I was always afraid GG would call on me  Tongue
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bonafide assembly kid
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« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2003, 12:21:17 pm »

i got a little irritated by this list, here are what i believe to be the right answers as to what the taboos are in the assembly.

"missing meetings for ANY reason"
-yes, that's considered bad

not doing chapter summeries
yeah, that's considered bad too.  or doing the wrong chapter, that's bad too.  or the wrong book....

having contradictional opinions
i had these all the time and it wasn't bad.  

eating fast food (im serious!)
um...false.  unless we're talking about a constant inhaling of fatty foods to the point where small children and most farm animals would be repulsed.

dressing in any sort of fashion besides preppish (anything other then a skirt, khakis or nice jeans, and any shirt with writing on it)

umm....false.
exception: blasphemous shirts = bad

not wearing sunday garb, ie: a tie for guys or a skirt/dress for girls
yes...true

sarcasm in any form
no, sarcasm is fun

biting nails (i got chewed out for this once in california)
not an assembly rule per say......something that parents usually try to teach their kids.

any form of independent thought tended to be shot down, especially if your a girl
ummm...that varies.  if it was reasonable enough, it was considered, but if you would do something like propose that we study the book of mormon, that would be shot down.....even if you're a boy.

friendship between men and women definately was one
friendship is fine.  calling everyday or writing long letters = bad.  in other words, crossing the friendship line is bad.  i believe that i can demonstrate this by adding a little kissy face  Kiss

going to dances meant you had fallen away  
true...more kissy faces  Kiss

painting nails
false, everyone painted their nails.......maybe if we said that guys couldn't paint their nails....

having ears pierced
i know many with ears pierced, although there are verses that mention something about that.

not taking notes
true.  playing games on laptops while pretending to take notes is bad too.

talking during a song/message
that's true, however that is just rude in general to talk while someone else is talking.  if you say this is only assembly rule then you haven't been to a public school.

chewing gum (you could get away with it most of the time, but GG had a problem with it in summer school for some reason)
that's true, but many places don't want gum chewing because of what happens when it's done being chewed....i.e. bottom of chairs, on floor, in hair, accidently stuck on forehead

being baptized and not praying in meetings
true, to an extent.  if you never prayed, you would be approached

having short hair if you're a girl, having long-ish hair if you're a guy
true......depends on how long or how short

listening to secular music
false.......actually, depends on the family and type of music

doodling
true

passing notes
again, see my comparison to public schools

falling asleep during a particularly boring message
that's rude in general..........although quite relaxing

saying that a message was boring
that's rude in general.  there are better ways to say that you think a guy has the speaking abilities of a rock.

defending yourself (especially if theyre exhorting you for one of the above already)
false, there was room for defense, provided you didn't get all insulted and mad and stomp away
i will demonstrate my point by putting this little angry face here  Angry

by the way, is it possible to add an expressionless face on here?
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Joseph Reisinger
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« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2003, 12:34:10 pm »

bonafide...
do I know you?
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Jim Haan
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« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2003, 09:04:26 pm »

sounds like a steve hansen to me.  
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jesusfreak
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« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2003, 10:36:19 pm »

i thought that at first too.

but, i think it might have been one to the daugthers of Gene.

(not that i have any reason at all to be sure this person is in chicago, but w/e Smiley)
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Eden Garisek
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« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2003, 03:56:08 am »

When it comes to judging whether these lists are true or false, I might point out that the standards varied from Assembly to Assembly, and from person to person.  I have no doubt that Emily's list is valid from her perspective. Bottom line:  No matter whether scriptural or not, if someone was "offended" or "stumbled" by what you did, you were fair game.  Example:  I went to Cornerstone Academy, and when I was in about fifth or sixth grade, they started teaching square dancing in PE.  They had to stop teaching it because the Midwest assemblies were offended.  My parents let me go to prom my junior year of high school and someone said it was like I had stuck a dagger in his daughters' hearts and twisted. Yikes!  

Oh, a couple more taboos:  

1.  No best friend.   We got quite a lecture on this from Rod Zach during Bible class in eighth grade.

2.  Dating is sin.  Dan Notti preached this in ministry.  When my mom told Keith Walker she didn't agree, he said he didn't either and neither did others of the leadership.  But there was never a retraction, and this teaching spread.

3.  No "immodest" clothing.  This standard differed from place to place.  Bathing suits were an especially complex issue.
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OnlyJesus24
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« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2003, 04:29:07 am »

i
not doing chapter summeries
yeah, that's considered bad too.  or doing the wrong chapter, that's bad too.  or the wrong book....


It was pretty easy to get out of this one though. Just say that you forgot it at home.
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wolverine
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« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2003, 04:40:15 am »

I wanted to get a tattoo that covered my entire back and containted a heart that said "MOM" in the middle...this intention of showing love for my MOTHER was REJECTED...I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE MY MOM!!!! Cry Cry Cry
What was I to tell my children???  Um, you're not to love your mother...and that's final!!!  I was torn apart at the seams of my fragile heart and left on the ground in anguish to rot away in my pitiful state...But I overcame, and I now can love my mother in liberty...SUPER!!!!

(I am being fasicous(sp?)...for those who wasted the last 10 seconds reading that stupid post)

BrentTr0ckmanFan

(alright, alright...so I don't have enough to do...)  
« Last Edit: February 07, 2003, 04:57:11 am by Paul Robinson » Logged
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