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Author Topic: Introducing myself - an assembly kid looking for support  (Read 3770 times)
Rebekah B. (Campbell)
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« on: April 13, 2008, 12:30:14 pm »

Hi, I am an assembly kid.  I was born into the assembly and was raised in the San Fernando Valley.  My family left when I was 11 years old.  When we left I was in a lot of pain and confusion, but did not understand why.   I knew I needed help but there was none for me.  My parents were trying to figure out what had happened to them and heal.  They did not believe that counseling was something I should try.  The next four years were horrible for me.  I had many nightmares and lots of inner turmoil.  From the outside I was labeled a rebellious child.  When I was about 15 I began to modify my outward disobedience and turned inward with my pain.  I would cry myself to sleep many nights and became depressed.  When I was 17 I developed a close relationship with several girls in my church and with my youth group leader.  This kept my head above water and I thought I was going to make it.  Over the next few years our friendship was strong, but we began to drift from church and began to hang out more with the wrong crowd.  I would sneak out behind my parents back.  I started college during this time and felt lonely and unloved(low self esteem).  I met a man who was seven years older than me and I thought he was the answer to all my problems.  This lasted only a short time and then it was over. Devastated, I left home (living with my parents) and went to live with my sister.  A few months later I met a man who is now my husband.  When I was four months pregnant with his baby we were married.  I am so blessed, what the devil meant for evil God meant for good.  (My husband is now a Christian and we are both walking with God)   After my son was born I went through a year of post partum depression.  At the time I was so lost and hurting I didn't know what to do.  I didn't even know why I was so distressed.  Near the end of that year I finally got counseling.  Wow, what a difference this made!  Years of guilt and doubting were washed away.  I am a good person and deserve love.(This is hard to believe.  I was taught that this kind of thinking is self centered, prideful, and would lead to arrogance. We should be dead to ourselves and alive unto Christ.)   My husband and I have also been a part of celebrate recovery (a christian program that deals with many issues from substance abuse to codependency etc...) This has helped us in our spiritual growth and healing as well as the counseling. I have PTSD and I have a long way to go in my recovery process, but God says that "He who has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.  Well, just recently I have been doing a lot of reading about the assembly and I am realizing that Betty and George's teaching has affected my whole life.  I mention Betty because of her role in the leadership of what she called child training.  The way I was raised from the moment I was born the mats, the spankings for 12 1/2 years of my life, seclusion from the world, everything being black or white either right or wrong, no room for feelings because feelings meant I obviously wasn't trusting God, fear that if I died and had forgotten to confess a sin I would go to hell, the perfection that I could never live up to, not to mention once I was on my own having no concept of societal norms, how to function with simple things like managing my money, scheduling my time, organizing my home.  I am overwhelmed with the amount of things I am trying to work through in my own life all while raising my children(When my son was three are family was blessed with twin girls).  It is like I was raised in another culture.  Issues come up constantly.  There was never a time called "before the assembly" for me.  I don't have much to draw on from my childhood to help me now (There were wonderful family vacations to Mexico, and reading Nancy Drew mysteries before bed with my mom)[Oh yeah don't tell anyone these were probably both big no, nos.  So I have to learn how to do life while I am raising my children.  I  have a large support group through the "celebrate recovery program",  a mother's group,  and through the co -operative preschool my twins are in.  But sometimes I yearn to talk with other grown up kids who have been through the stressful experiences that I went through by being born into and raised in  a high demand perfectionist group - the assembly.  Others don't understand  what I went through.  Perhaps this is just me, but if there are any others who struggle with how it was to be a kid raised in the assembly I would love to hear your story, struggles and successes included. 
Thank -you,
  Rebekah
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« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2008, 02:12:23 am »

Rebekah,

Thank you for posting your story. I don't have time to write now but I wanted to affirm that.

Loretta and I are both ministry leaders in Celebrate Recovery in Boone, NC.  It has helped us both greatly.  Perhaps I will see you at the August conference one year (we aren't going this year but maybe next).  Love to talk more about it.  Our phone number is (828)265-1890

Dave and Loretta (Swenson) Sable.


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Rebekah B. (Campbell)
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« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2008, 04:57:35 am »

HI Dave,
you probably remember me.  My sister and I stayed at your home for a week one time  I think it was right after we left the assembly because I remember going to your church and several youth group events.  I had such a great time, I remember a pool party, a kid who could play the piano very well, and the vegetables Loretta made with butter and herbs(they were yummy).  I remember feeling so free and happy.  We never didn't so stuff like that with kids our age at the assembly and this experience was so different. 
Anyway how are the boys doing? 
Yes, celebrate recovery has done wonders in our lives my husband and I both have met so many great people that have helped us along our journey.  My husband is co-leading a young mans issues group as he has been going for 2 and a half years.  I thought I was perfect and didn't have any severe problems so I didn't start at Celebrate Recovery until a whole year after my husband had started.  I thought all my problems were because of my husband.  Then my husband started growing in God and changing, and I was still having the same issues.  I decided I would go try it and see if I could learn how to deal with such a messed up husband Smiley  What I found out was that I had a whole bag of problems that needed dealing with, and in this environment I was able to grow and change without judgement.  It was safe.  What a great experience.
I have never been to one of the big conferences.  My kids our all still a little young, but maybe in a couple of years.
Rebekah(becky campbell)
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« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2008, 06:35:47 am »

HI Dave,
you probably remember me.  My sister and I stayed at your home for a week one time  I think it was right after we left the assembly because I remember going to your church and several youth group events.  I had such a great time, I remember a pool party, a kid who could play the piano very well, and the vegetables Loretta made with butter and herbs(they were yummy).  I remember feeling so free and happy.  We never didn't so stuff like that with kids our age at the assembly and this experience was so different. 
Anyway how are the boys doing? 
Yes, celebrate recovery has done wonders in our lives my husband and I both have met so many great people that have helped us along our journey.  My husband is co-leading a young mans issues group as he has been going for 2 and a half years.  I thought I was perfect and didn't have any severe problems so I didn't start at Celebrate Recovery until a whole year after my husband had started.  I thought all my problems were because of my husband.  Then my husband started growing in God and changing, and I was still having the same issues.  I decided I would go try it and see if I could learn how to deal with such a messed up husband Smiley  What I found out was that I had a whole bag of problems that needed dealing with, and in this environment I was able to grow and change without judgement.  It was safe.  What a great experience.
I have never been to one of the big conferences.  My kids our all still a little young, but maybe in a couple of years.
Rebekah(becky campbell)

I sure do remember you but I had forgotten you stayed with us.  If I remember, I guess you must have helped with our VBS (I think we called it Camp Can-Do) at Creek Park.  That was alot of fun now that I think about it.  I think you know we moved to NC in 1995 to work for Samaritan's Purse in the computer department.   I told you more of my CR involvement in a PM. 

Lord bless,

-Dave
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