AssemblyBoard
June 18, 2019, 06:55:54 pm *
The board has been closed to new content. It is available as a searchable archive only. This information will remain available indefinitely.

I can be reached at brian@tucker.name

For a repository of informational articles and current information on The Assembly, see http://www.geftakysassembly.com
 
   Home   Search  
Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: BB THREAD FOR SALE  (Read 5291 times)
Joe Sperling
Guest


Email
« on: March 02, 2007, 09:32:03 pm »

Dear Friends,

Last night I heard Him clearly. "Burt, get thee out of thy country, and away from thy kindred, and
sell all that thou hast, and follow me, to the land that I shall show thee. And thou shalt be blessed,
and thy seed shall be in number as the sand on the beach, or the stars in the sky, if thou wilt obey my Word this night."

Friends, I cannot disobey that command. Who knows what great blessings lay in store for me, and for all of those who shall be blessed through me? God is going to do a great thing! Therefore, I am immediately selling the Thread "Ask Reverend Burt" for the lowly sum of $10,780.00 + tax. I am also selling all inventory associated with that Thread for the amazingly low amount of $976.00 (you pay for shipping expenses to your address). You will receive Miracle Head Coverings, Miracle toothbrushes and dental floss, books and other trinkets, that you can offer to the needy, and for the furtherance of the Gospel.

This is an event that will only happen once in a lifetime friends! God is giving you the opportunity to take over a thriving and wonderful ministry of communication to those who visit this Bulletin Board. Just think of all of the people you can be a part of blessing!! Don't miss out. You could also purchase the Thread, and then rent it out to others if you chose to do so. It is an amazing adventure in God-given opportunity dear friends.  Please send Cashiers check or Money order payable to Burt O'leary, and forward to:

Ralphs Supermarket
12367 Front St.
Long Beach, Ca., 91334
Attn: Lefty Grazano

This is a temporary address as the Lord leads and guides me to that blessed place he has called me. I am so excited dear friends and filled with a renewed Gospel fervor!! Will you not join in this blessed work? Every dollar you send, whether purchasing the Thread, or donating for my relocation, will become part of your Eternal Reward. Remember friends, "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also". Mr. Grazano will be sure to forward all funds to me after he has taken out a small amount for his "expenses". The Lord has sent Mr. Grazano to me as a laborer and helper, and he is a true servant of the Lord.

P.S. Remember friends, "Satan can turn himself into an angel of light"--he can also come in the form of an IRS agent too. Beware him my dear ones! Turn away from him should he ask about the Lord's servant, who is only trying to fulfill the call of God in his life. Say to that agent from hell, with his thick-lensed glasses and massive briefcase, "Get thee behind me Satan!!" I hope you will dear friends.  May the Lord richly bless you!
« Last Edit: March 02, 2007, 09:43:32 pm by Joe Sperling » Logged
outdeep
Guest


Email
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2007, 01:27:44 am »

Long Beach, CA - In an amazing twist of events, once discredited evangelist Bert O'Leary has become an instant millionaire.  Thanks to the overwhelming success of his new bestseller The Secret that was featured in two episodes of the Ophra Winphrey show Mr. O'Leary has moved back into his mansion. 

Click here for more details on The Secret
http://www.biblicalspirituality.org/secret.html


« Last Edit: March 03, 2007, 02:17:49 am by Dave Sable » Logged
Joe Sperling
Guest


Email
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2007, 02:10:40 am »

Hey!! Youse people out-ah there-ah. I'm Lefty, Lefty Grazano. I gotta your little-ah Reverend Burt-ah. If you wanta to see the little jerk-ah alive again, I'ma gonna needa to see-ah some cash-ah, and I mean-ah
the green stuff-ah, and lots of it, no? You hearin' me huh? Maybe he go for a little swim-ah, if-ah I don't see-ah the cash no? The east-ah river, she is-ah bee-you-tee-ful this time-ah the year-ah. Maybe I buy-ah him-ah some new-ah boots-ah, no? Some boots-ah made ofa cement-ah huh? They're-ah real-ah nice-ah.

Or maybe I make-ah a pizza huh? With all-ah of-ah the toppings-ah huh? She-ah has-ah the onions-ah. She-ah has-ah the green-ah peppers-ah. She has-ah the red-ah sauce-ah. She has-ah the Reverend-ah Burt O'Leary too-ah, no? Youse people gettin' the picture-ah? I need-ah some cash-ah now, or your little-ah Reverend-ah, he go for a swim-ah huh? Or maybe he-ah go for a long-ah car ride-ah, and don't come-ah back for a long-ah time-ah,  no?

Send-ah the money and your Reverend-ah, maybe he lives-ah. If I don't-ah see-ah the money, maybe he-ah
goes-ah scuba diving-ah with no equipment huh? Maybe he gets-ah good-ah view of the bottom-ah of the east-ah river huh? Maybe he digs-ah for clams-ah, then he decides-ah to live there too, no? :

Ralphs's Supermarket
12367 Front St.
Long Beach, Ca., 91334
Attn: Lefty Grazano

You send-ah the money and-ah the Reverend, he lives-ah no? God-ah bless you.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2007, 05:57:27 am by Joe Sperling » Logged
Joe Sperling
Guest


Email
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2007, 06:04:07 am »

I have to apologize for the recent threads with extremely strange and bad humor. I forgot to take my medication again. The medication combined with the 5:00A.M. to 6:00 A.M. brother supervised prayer times should really help to get me back on the right track again. At 5:30 P.M. I'm going to hit myself over the head with a very old hymn book and then listen to a tape seminar. Then at 1:00 A.M. I'll be vacuuming again since I don't have any other time to do my stewardships in the house. But this doesn't have anything to do with the strange and bizarre "humor"--it's the medication, I swear.  Again, my apologies, it won't happen again.
Logged
outdeep
Guest


Email
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2007, 06:13:38 pm »

Joe,

You might as well use this board as a vehicle for joking around.  I think most folks are pretty much talked-out about Assembly issues.  If someone really wants info about the Assembly, they should go to www.GeftakysAssembly.com.

This board is much like keeping up with old high school friends.  After a while, there is not much more to say.

-Dave
Logged
Joe Sperling
Guest


Email
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2007, 08:38:25 pm »

Dave---

That's very true. Yes---the "Assembly Reflections" website is excellent, with some really
good articles and insights. There are a lot of new articles over there--thanks for the reminder---hadn't visited there for a while.

Logged
amycahill
Guest


Email
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2008, 07:47:34 am »

I have to apologize for the recent threads with extremely strange and bad humor. I forgot to take my medication again. The medication combined with the 5:00A.M. to 6:00 A.M. brother supervised prayer times should really help to get me back on the right track again. At 5:30 P.M. I'm going to hit myself over the head with a very old hymn book and then listen to a tape seminar. Then at 1:00 A.M. I'll be vacuuming again since I don't have any other time to do my stewardships in the house. But this doesn't have anything to do with the strange and bizarre "humor"--it's the medication, I swear.  Again, my apologies, it won't happen again.

Very old hymnbook, hmmmm?

"Pie Jesu Domine....*thunk*"
"Dona eis requiem...*thunk*"

 Grin
Logged
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!