Depression
outdeep:
I would like to dedicate this thread to people who have suffered from depression whether mild or severe. Some may have experienced depression while in the Assembly because they felt required to suppress doubt. Others may have fallen into a funk after they left the Assembly while trying to come to grips with the sense of loss. Others may have a physiological problem or psychological reasons they tend towards depression.
What is your story? What helped? Do you overcome the depression or do you simply manage it?
al Hartman:
A typical conversation between a sufferer of depression and a caring friend or relative who wants to help, but has never personally been depressed, starts like this:
"Are you feeling depressed?'
"Yeah..."
"What about?"
...and that is where communication breaks down. More often than not, clinical depression is not "about" anything in particular. Although the severity of the depressive state may be situationally affected, the basic affliction is difficult to assess and is frequently attributed to a chemical imbalance in the body. The sense of unfounded hopelessness is impossible to explain to someone who has neither experienced it nor been trained to understand it.
The well meaning friend will often try to "cheer up" the suffering patient (clinical depression is an illness), but may find the result to be the opposite of what was hoped for. The course of depression, short term and long term, can be unpredictable. The two non-professional approaches most likely to help are attentive listening (without comment) and a gentle touch (a hand on the arm; a shoulder to lean on).
What the depressed do not need is to feel that they are being judged and condemned for not "bucking up" and pulling themselves together. Severe depression defies the mind-over-matter approach.
Although it was not diagnosed until the mid-1980s, little analysis was needed to establish that I had suffered clinical depression of varying degrees since childhood, probably having begun in the early 1950s. Over the past several years I have been helped immensely through the ministrations of a Christian counselor. I am presently seen quarterly by a psychiatrist for the monitoring of two prescription anti-depressants.
Don't worry about being politically correct with me-- I enjoy valium jokes as much as a "normal" person would. ;)
I usually get my shrink to give me one of those pens from the pharmaceutical companies, then show people my "personalized" Prozac or Wellbutrin pen. ;D
I'll share some of my experiences as a "depressee" next time I post on this thread.
God bless,
al
delila:
I left fellowship about ten years ago. When I left, I still believed in the assembly. My faith was simply ruined. They were gona make it. I was toast.
My hair fell out in great clumps. I had an ulcer and was treated for it for a long time. I had great boils on my neck that burst and bled when I splashed water on them. I lost weight (hardly able to eat) though I wasn't 'overweight' to start with.
Depression can take many forms. I wrote myself through mine but cried constantly. I went to see a counsellor and did all the homework she gave me. Still, I think what I fought most was the assembly's doom for those who leave. Something terrible was going to happen. Without doubt, I was gona die a terrible death, or wish I had. Still, what I feared most, was running into 'one of the faithful' and so I moved, got a new job and broke all connection with those I knew, even outside the assembly - sisters I knew from the campus. I saw a leading brother on the Ctrain shortly after I left and it was like seeing a ghost. I was so glad when he got off the train and didn't see me. It was like I'd almost made contact with a dangerous alien species. Sounds cruel, I know. But all I knew was that he would not understand. And I knew exactly what he'd say. Doom. Doom if I didn't 'repent'.
Delila
Gordon:
Upon hearing some of the struggles that so many people had to go through: depression, I had to write a bit of my experiences and God's mercy.
***
FIRST THING, if you know anyone who is depressed, don't try to 'heal' them. Just be a good listener and be supportive. Hug the depressed, call them, tell jokes, walk with them, but do NOT try to FIX them. Some depressed people needs medical attention and help. Others needs hours, years of support and love. It will REQUIRE spiritual stamina, love and patience.
For those who try to FIX people or think they have the spiritual wisdom of Christ ask yourself this: Do you people who asked depressed people to repent ---- THINK we LIKE this?!!! It's not our eyes upon ourselves -- it's a crippling stronghold that holds our heart in a vice.
I found many in the ministry woefully ill-equipped to help those who struggle with this terrible prison. The biggest stumbling block to help those is PRIDE. You think you have all the answers. You think you are spiritually mature to help. Unless you go through it, you have no idea how bad it really is. it's not just being sad, it's sleeping 18 hrs straight, it's waking up feeling dead, it's a loss of appetite, it's a hollow feeling that you feel sometimes like you're not living in your own body.
It's a slow emotional ebola virus eating your personality away.
For those who don't understand depression, just admit you don't. That is the first step if you want to help those who suffers from depression.
The worse pain I got in the ministry was people saying, "You need to repent. You need to get your eyes off yourself." Maybe for the pity party-type you can say that, but for those who are depressed, you might scar someone for life with added guilt. There is NO measuring scale to the degree of soul damage a misplaced word, or action can have on a clinically depressed person. God have mercy if you shoot off your tongue to quickly to a depressed Christian.
SECONDLY, for all those who are depressed. God loves you, and God will help you get through this.
My sisters all suffered from depression, and my mom is maniac depressant to the point where it crippled my childhood. It's a literal curse upon the family. Some of us will never understand the emotional scarring, burdens and weight of our souls, but I truly believe through the supernatural touch of God we can find healing, and true joy. I lost my childhood, and didn't hear the words "I love you son." from my mother until I was 25. (Listen to Mark Shultz's song WHEN YOU COME home...it'll tear my heart everytime)
She never said it...because at times I had to watch with tears, with the full realization of helplessness that I could not help my mom. The guilt ate me alive. Needless to say, it laid a foundation for a very unstable childhood.
Only recently through the prayers of many Christians my mom is slowly breaking free with prayer, and the reading of her bible. My sisters are now all saved. I am more stronger, more joyful and more on fire for God than EVER. God's grace came through! THANK YOU LORD!
I will say, if you came into the ministry depressed, it wasn't the ministry's fault you are still depressed. You were depressed before, but the ministry in it's perspective of depression and it's methods for dealing with it was absolutely preschool-like. I will gladly say if you got out of the ministry you have a much greater chance of beating depression than being in it. For sure: not a healthy place for depressed people. I hold responsiblity of these faulty perspectives to George and Betty Geftakys. Their ministry and perspectives have caused many souls to be harmed.
FAMOUS CHRISTIANS WHO STRUGGLED WITH DEPRESSION; Oswald Chambers and Martin Luther struggled with it alone, but God used it somehow. God used it in my life too. It has given me incredible empathy for those who suffer. I am not so quick to FIX people up. I am humbled to learn how to care for a soul AND admit I don't know it all. Pride will cause not healing for someone trying to help someone who suffers from depression.
Finally my own tips on dealing with depression:
Here are a few pointers:
1) Get a great network of support. People who simply will just pray for you without question is the best. I have two women I know without a doubt they can just pray on the spot for me. TALK and hang out with people. YOU HAVE TO GET out and interact with people otherwise you'll go crazy. People who LOVES you, cry tears in prayer hugging you... are the people you want.
When my sister was close to suicide, I cried my eyes out out loud in front of her. I bared my soul in agony for her. I cried HARD. You need that gut-level, love and commitment from people to help you get through this.
2) Diet and exercise. Sounds like 9th grade health class, but it works. I'm a stickler for exercise and a great diet. If you feel great physically it will help mentally, and emotionally. All those endorphins does help. Also you'll feel better about yourself and it will give you one less thing to be depressed and worried about. (Also great for bragging to your friends that you have a heart rate of a marathon runner. Some people think I do it for vanity. Hardly. It's about not being depressed)
3) Truly spend time with the Lord. Reading God's word and be entirely honest with God in prayer will help. Depression is a strange trip. It's emotional, and spiritual. I remember one time I came back exhausted on every level: emotional, physical, mental after from childrens' camp - my mistake was burning myself out without help - and when i drove to work the next day I heard a voice say, "Hit the car".
Let me tell you: Spiritual warfare. it's real. It's the devil and you better deal with it and get help.
4) I know depression is difficult. it might lead you to seek solace, comfort, and relief in sin. It doesn't work. Also don't bash yourself for how you feel, but bring it God. I know it's not easy...but you will make it.
Remember when Christ asked the man at the pool? Its was almost a sarcastic question. DO YOU WANT TO BE MADE WELL? The man has been in the same crippling condition for years...it's pretty obvious isn't it? YES it was. But Christ wanted the GUT-level cry and request of the heart. There is something attractive to God that he must work when faith, humility and sincerity is mixed into a prayer request.
When I cried my eyes out to God -- He came through with a song, with a person, with a passage to lift me up.
FINALLY:
Any of you who are depressed: God's value for you is remarkable. If you think your life and contribution to us, and this world is meaningless you're wrong. Your life, your soul, your smile and laughter will be missed. God intends for your life to shine and it will. Don't give up: you are beautiful in God's eyes. God loves you and will help you through this.
You will one day break the chains of others and set them free.
There is ALWAYS hope my friend.
May God richly bless you, and show you to be the God of Miracles.
delila:
Gordon,
What excellent advice. We can not fix people. We can love them and there are so many ways to show this love. There is nothing like the wisdom of experience, painful as it is to gain such wisdom. You speak healing words.
Thanks,
Delila
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page